Saturday, July 29, 2006
USS William Jefferson Clinton - CVS1
(popular email going around the blogsphere)
The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today. Pictured above:USS William Jefferson Clinton CVS1set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navyand is a standing legacy to President Clintonand his foresight in military budget cuts.The ship is constructed nearly entirely fromrecycled aluminum and is completely solarpowered with a top speed of .5 knots. It boastsan arsenal comprised of one F14 Tomcat orF18 Hornet aircraft which, although theycannot be launched or captured on the 40 footflight deck, but it forms a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes membersof all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - in factin times of conflict its orders are to remain in hiding in Canada,but will be used extensively for social experimentation and whateverworthless jobs the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.
General Characteristics, Clinton Class
Builder: Recycle Hawai'i, Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Power Plant: Solar Cells, one big shaftBuilder: Recycle Hawai'i, Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Length: overall: 40 feet (1219.2 centimeters)
Flight Deck Width: 30 feet (914.4 centimeters)
Beam: Secret No details (?? centimeters)
Displacement: Approx. 7,000 tons full loadSpeed: .5+ knots (1+ miles per hour)
Aircraft: One big one!
Cost: about $1 billion each Italeri - 05533
This information is from DOD - 2005 (unclassified)
Caveats: (none)
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