Wednesday, February 14, 2007
I did not know that ignoring my wife was genetic. Now that this is known, it can be named and I can get some help from the government for treatment; especially if a Democrat wins in '08 and there is universal healthcare.
According to this article, this affliction is subconscious. So what is the name of this affliction? 'Reactance' is the clinical name. But that is not good enough. And I guess there should be a spectrum of reactance based on how much of a shrew you are married to.
Levels of Reactance on my scale would include identifiable behaviors as follows:
Naggus Interruptus: Pertaining to the cognitions of a wife that disturbs you while watching any sporting event, especially if your team is about to score with less than five seconds left in the game.
Bitchus Comorbidity: The coexistence of two or more personalities in a wife that manifest themselves in the same bitching tirade.
Parasitic Psychobabalry - NOS (Not Otherwise Specified): Having to do with a parasite, as in a parasitic infection; or acting like a parasite by taking nourishment from another parasitic source like Oprah, Dr. Phil, or Cosmopolitan wherein the affected person drones on and on about what an idiot you are, why you don't love her, and why your mother should die in the most expedient manner available with no traces or connection to your wife as the perp.
On a spectrum, with 1 being the lowest form of reactance to 10 being the highest end of the spectrum, then the scale could look something like this:
Happy Valentine's Day - Give Me The Remote - Your Flowers And Russel Stover's Gift Pack Are At The Front Door!