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Friday, September 16, 2005

Grandma Had The 'Walkin Farts' - Jeff Foxworthy on NPR

Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion has been on National Public Radio for over thirty years. That is quite an accomplishment in the entertainment industry. His Prairie Home Companion illustrates the past of a fictitious little town, and is heard by four million listeners every week on over 550 public radio stations.

For those that have never listened to it, it's quite good sometimes, especially the stories about his family and the idealism of Lake Woebegone. I think its placement on Saturday on my local NPR station is well suited - it's a time when we should all get away from what we do for a living and what we do in our spare time, like blog, read and watch the MSM, etc. (We should all spend more time with our families!)

But I was thinking about Mr. Keillor and his thoughts on politics. And it struck me that our tax money goes to subsidize NPR and this program.

Keillor is no friend of the right. At the opening of a new wing of children's hospital in Chicago right after the 2004 election, Keillor sated, “I am a Democrat—it’s no secret. I am a museum-quality Democrat” He prattled, "People voted for all sorts of things they don’t know they’re getting,” he said. “They voted for freedom to worship, which is sort of like buying a plane ticket to London so you can eat a pack of salted peanuts. Even after they get what they wished for—like the two or three justices it may take to overturn Roe v. Wade. If you forbid a doctor to perform an abortion for a young woman working at McDonald’s who has no health insurance, you have set the motions for an American tragedy."

He then turned to the audience and said, "I’m trying to organize support for a constitutional amendment to deny voting rights to born-again Christians,” Keillor smirked, “I feel if your citizenship is in Heaven—like a born again Christian’s is—you should give up your citizenship. Sorry, but this is my new cause. If born again Christians are allowed to vote in this country, then why not Canadians?”

If Garrison Keillor represents the liberal idealism of folksy mid-America, then why not have someone like Jeff Foxworthy on NPR. With equal time, which should be allowed since your tax money pays for NPR, Jeff Foxworhty would regale listeners with undoubtedly much more entertaining fare about rednecks, NASCAR, beer, trucks and hunting dogs. And isn't it all about ratings, anyway? Here is what a head to head competition could resemble:

Keillor: The pulchritude of Woebegone in the waining days of an Indian Summer...

Foxworthy: Grandma had the Walkin Farts last night, it sounded like someone was machine gunning a seal!

Now I have always thought that Lewis Grizzard should have had equal time, but alas, he is up in Bulldog Heaven. For those who are not familiar with Lewis Grizzard, you have missed a classic Southern humorist - unapologetically a Georgia Bulldog fan, chain smoker, and staunch conservative.

But as long as you have the DNC Blood Group tattooed under your left arm, your tax money will continue to fund Radio Hanoi, Keillor and other Party Officials of the DNC's Central Committee and no equal time will be given to anyone on the right. At least the right has AM Radio and FOX - and they are FREE - and we certainly have more than four million listeners. Git R Done!

Do you reckon conservative types would start listening to NPR if they did start posting Foxworthy?
Yup...just that show. For a group (the left) that bemoans fairness, let him have a shot. It would be the best ratings NPR ever had.
I don't know -- it's either the insufferable winters or the ingestion of Mississippi River water that has already been filtered through several hundred- thousand kidneys, but, for some reason, those Iowa- and Minnesota-types have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the likes of the Kennedys (Edward and let's don't forget the asinine Robert F.) and other assorted liberals, including rags like The Burlington (Iowa) Hawk Eye newspaper, to such an extent that they are totally incapable of having an independent thought based on reason,logic and good ole American traditional values.
Yeah, that's typical of Liberals. Most of them want to deny Christians the right to vote, as well the right to freedom of speech and freedom of worship. He is just honest about it.
Most liberals want to deny Christians the right to vote, speak and worship? Really?

That must have happened in the last Liberals Against America meeting, the one I missed. bwa-ha-haaa!


a Left-leaning, Green Party-loving, Jesus-loving, tea-totaling deacon, father, husband, US citizen and all around good guy
Yes Dan, didn't you get the double secret liberals-only memo. Christians shouldn't vote because Democrats hate religion. Only Born-Again Christians can be moral so we don't want them standing in the way of our plan to destroy America.

Also any babies we don't eat should immediately be 'converted' to homosexuality.

Btw this is satire, I think Jesus was way cool.
Is way cool!
Fair enough that is true. I guess I just get disgruntled by the way his name is coopted to support very unjesus acts and views.
Then your thought above needs to be applied to Islam as well 'Jesus (God) coopted to support very un-Jesus (un-God) acts and views' Agree? You better!
I certainly agree that I hate to see any religion which has peace, understanding and love as part of its main tenets (as most do) to be used to endorse violence and oppression.
Of course I agree, if you think I have some sympathy for terrorists because they claim to be acting on behalf of their faith you are way off. That's a no brainer.
Back to the opriginal post - Jeff Foxworthy should be on NPR!
I'm with you on this one.. My fellow Minnesota boy is a smarmy little twit in need of a lesson or two in reality..Foxworthy style. Push up your glasses Gary, pack up your uke and suspenders cuz it's time to GITTER DONE!
Change your name...you do have a clue. Thanks for the post! Ya'll come back, now. Ya Hear!
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