Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Although I think you’re a Democrat since all you do is give stuff that someone made to other people for nothing, I still think you’re neat and look great on a Coke can, which is the only place you should be seen in public. So here goes my wish list for this year:
- I wish for the pay of every level of active duty military personnel to up'd by 100% (even that is not enough), retirement, health, educational benefits increased by 100% (includes Merchant Marines)
- I wish for any dependents of a combat vet killed in the line of duty to receive a full ride scholarship to the college of his or her choice
- I wish for the DOD budget increased by 100%
- I wish for no more humanitarian aid to any country that does not send support for the GWOT – thanks for the Katrina stuff, but too little too late, amigos!
- I wish for partial birth abortion ban in the Constitution
- I wish for a Marriage amendment to the Constitution
- I wish for the borders to be closed to everyone - no immigration for ten years, and I wish to kick out anyone pre/post 9/11 who is here on a student/teacher work visa
- I wish for any Non-US Citizen professors to not be able to teach in a US college
- I wish for Castro to go to that Big Banana Plantation in the sky (I know it’s Christmas, but does he really deserve to live?)
- I wish for the EU to take care of the Balkans and its own messes, not the UN/US
- I wish for us to get out of Haiti/Korea
- I wish for us to get out of Germany (take that for your help in the GWOT)
- I wish for Walt Disney’s home in KS to be made into a National Landmark
- I wish for ANWR to open so we can drill, FL too
- I wish for the endangered species list eliminated – Snail Darters taste great blackened!
- I wish for the levees in New Orleans be built for a Cat 6 storm
- I wish for every Ms America from 2006 forward to come from below the Mason Dixon (most come from the South anyway, so why even have a contest…when is the last time Ms Delaware won anything?)
- I wish for a nuclear power plant within a 500 mile drive of every citizen in the US
- I wish for the line item veto in the Constitution
- I wish for all state and fed prisoners in LA and MS to help rebuild LA and MS!
- I wish for our armed services to continue to recruit in HS and Colleges
- I wish for no more Humvees In-Country in Iraq/Afghanistan – only self propelled 155s – lower the barrel and cover your ears!
- I wish for our Police to be as armed as the criminals they encounter – shoot first, Miranda second!
- I wish for continued and increased support for Israel and everything it does
- I wish for the SR-71 to fly again – I don’t give a damn how much it costs!
- I wish to continue the Space Program and fund it to its logical conclusions
- I wish for the privatization of AMTRACK and the US POST OFFICE
- I wish there was no gay rights and gay marriage legislation of any kind
- I wish for all tax money pulled from NPR, PBS, and the National Endowment for the Arts
- I wish for no more Broadway shows where there are no spoken words
- I wish no Hollywood personality will testify in front of Congress
- I wish for steroids in baseball – it’s so boring without them!
- I wish for no more money going to PLO humanitarian aid
- I wish for funding for the UN to stop and let’s and kick it out of the US
- I wish for every parking spot at every mall to be able to fit a Humvee
- I wish that once someone famous dies, no new merchandise can be sold
- I wish for the NEA/AFT abolished
- I wish for mandatory Second Language education at every grade, and you can’t chose to study a language you already speak
- I wish for teacher pay increased and every teacher given literacy and skills tests every year…the higher you score - the more money you get – the more children who score well on nationalized tests – the more money you get
- I wish for a Constitutional Amendment for School Vouchers
- I wish for no foreign students admitted into any US Medical School
- I wish for tenure for college professors abolished and I wish for every college professor to take a loyalty oath before he/she can teach
- I wish for the US Border with Mexico sealed/mined – Canada, you’re next!
- I wish for the collection Lend-Lease bills from WWII
- I wish for Japan to apologize again – we better put that in now since its taken 60 years for it to say it’s kinda sorry for the atrocities it committed in WWII
- I wish for all KGB files opened up and everything that the Cheka, GRU, GPU, etc. did from 1917 to present open for all to see
- I wish for an amendment to the Constitution that forbids the Flag to be burned – one year imprisonment 1st offense, 2nd offense – body is donated to science
- I wish for the repeal of Title IX and I wish for college cheerleading scholarships to be abolished (but I do love it when they cry!)
- I wish for International Waters demarcation around the US extended 500 miles
- I wish to never see a coach or a player on a microphone within 48 hours of the termination of any sports event (pro/college)
- I wish for no more scholarships for college sports
- I wish for Seamus Malin to never commentate another soccer game in the US!
- I wish for no more sales of any hand held or console video games to children
- I wish for children to have a mandatory two hours of outside the house activities every day after school, weather permitting! If the weather is bad, read a book!
- I wish for no sports events or television on Christmas or any national holiday
- I wish for Christmas back in public schools and the 10 Commandments on every classroom wall – if it’s good enough for the 10c’s to be on the walls of Congress, why not schools?
- I wish the Boy Scouts can choose to not let certain 'types' of people as Scout Masters
- I wish for compulsory business education starting in 1st grade: economics, money management, finance, personnel management principles, project management
- I wish state Three Strikes/you're out legislation to be two strikes too many
- I wish for every member of Congress to have served in the military
- I wish to repeal all campaign finance laws–if your party can’t raise money – boo hoo!
- I wish for all the service academies to have ‘first rights’ on all HS grads with a 3.0 or above
- I wish for a Federal Law that forbids spammers, virus and pop-up spreaders: keel-hauling is the preferred method of punishment – should be televised!
- I wish to open all ship building ports in the US – no more foreign built US Ships
- I wish for literacy tests for voting
- I wish for no bi-lingual education (although I speak, read and write Spanish - it was not taught as an alternative to English)
- I wish to repeal of all state Motor/Voter legislation – no driver’s licenses to non-US persons
- I wish for term limits on all local, state, fed elected officials (If you have not authored a bill in the US House or Senate in your first term, you cannot be reelected)
- I wish for compulsory military service at the age of 18 with a six year enlistment – and guaranteed college for all who complete his/her enlistment with honor
- I wish for no women in combat, ever
- I wish for a cap on minimum wage laws
- I wish for ‘Happy Holidays’ to be abolished from the public lexicon - anyone who says 'Happy Holidays' should be jailed and his/her company fined 50K for every infraction, property confiscation and wage garnishment
- I wish to repeal the Eminent Domain SC ruling for condos and strip malls
- I wish to eliminate all Capital Gains Taxes, Death Tax, Marriage Penalties
- I wish for a 12% flat tax on every American earning 30K and above
- I wish for every person in the US to drive SUVs
- I wish for no speed limits on any interstate in WY/ID/NE/IA/MT/AZ/NM/UT
- I wish for a five year ban on any reference to the Kennedy Presidency and family on television - this includes the word 'Camelot'
- I wish that the only Beatle to ever be on the cover of a rock magazine or tv is Paul McCartney – the other three who sang back-up don’t count!
- I wish for a National Holiday for Dale Earnhardt and Clarence Thomas
- I wish for CNN to pay for its fraternity-free-speech ‘Big X’ prank with the removal of its FCC license (not an issues since no one watches the Clinton News Network)
- I wish for every State Dept employee who has been in a post over five years fired
- I wish for the HBO Movie ‘Conspiracy’ shown in every 10/11/12 grade class until these kids get it that there is hate in the world, even if you don’t see nasty pictures of it
- I wish for compulsory Shakespeare taught in every grade
- I wish for Home Room and Study Period to be abolished
- I wish for compulsory music, art and physical education in every grade – cut them and all your gvt goodies go bye bye
- I wish for no college football team west of the Mississippi in the top 20, ever! (except the Longhorns)
- I wish for Steve Spurrier to be the next Gov of FL
- I wish for LA Nat Guard Gen Honree to be the next Gov of LA with a lifetime appointment
- I wish for every child in the 4th grade to read, memorize and recite the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. FDR’s speech to Congress Dec 8, 1941, Edmund Burke, Locke, Chambers, CS Lewis (not the Narnia stuff), Friedman, Hamilton, Smith, and every State of the Union speech Ronald Reagan gave needs to be memorized and incorporated into national tests
- I wish for Steve Maruichi to be the next coach, GM and owner of the Saints
- I wish for the budget for the CIA and FBI quadrupled
- I wish for all unions abolished
- I wish for children up to the 3rd Grade to sit in rows and memorize facts about math, science and history
- I wish for every K-12 class to adopt an active duty unit overseas and send quarterly letters and pictures and words of praise and thanks
- I wish for the pay of all Police, Medic and Fireman doubled and funded by any class action lawsuit wins. In fact, I wish for all class action lawsuits abolished
- I wish for the ABA abolished
- I wish for no advertising for Christmas to occur before Thanksgiving
- I wish for no commercial jingle on tv to be a rap
- I wish to never hear the following songs again as long as I live:
- ‘Disco Duck’, ‘Sugar Pie Hunny-Bunch’, ‘Paradise By The Dashboard Light’, Anything Clapton did – The Boss, too!, Anything Madonna did, ‘Macarena’, ‘My Girl’, ‘Unchained Melody’, ‘Strokin’, ‘Purple Haze’, Anything Janice Joplin did!
- I wish for a Missing and Exploited Children’s Network hosted by John Walsh – 1 million dollar bounty on any and all child molesters at large
- I wish for the Patriot Act to be extended forever – it does not go far enough as is
- I wish for the good people of AZ to find Sen. John McCain another job
- I wish for Kukla, Fran, and Ollie to be back on the air
- I wish for Rudy G to announce his Pres candidacy with Condi Rice as his 2nd
- I wish for ‘B-1’ Bob Dornan and Fred Thompson to be the next USSC nominees when Ginsberg and Souter suddenly ‘retire’
- I wish for the Dept of Agriculture to be eliminated and its budget given to the Dept of Education
- I wish for every Democrat, protester, college proff who criticized the President for the way he is handling the GWOT to pick up a rifle and man a post
- I wish that if you were not born in the 60s, you can’t wear tye-dye and peace symbols – if you were born in the 60s, guess what, Hippie? It’s 2005!
- I wish for a Constitutional Amendment to make ‘In God We Trust’ the national motto – and I wish for it etched into Mt. Rushmore after Ronald Reagan’s face is added
- I wish JC Watts to be the next speaker of the US House
- I wish the GAO would be eliminated
- I wish John Kerry would just get it over with and move to France
- I wish for compulsory Boy Scout/Girl Scout participation all the way through HS
- I wish for Jimmy Cater and Bill Clinton to apologize publicly for criticizing the US outside the US, then tried for treason
- I wish for the Nobel Committee and future Peace Prizes eliminated
- I wish for the FBI files on MLK opened
- I wish that anyone who wears a Che Guevara shirt imprisoned and his personal property confiscated, just like Che would have done if he was alive and you were in Cuba – you need to be taught how glorious communism is, useful idiots!
- I wish for all Olympic sports after 1980 abolished
- I wish for any town/city that puts up a ‘live manger’ scene for Christmas to be staffed with imprisoned ACLU lawyers ‘nailed’ to their positions
- I wish for the 2nd Line to the National Dance of the US
- I wish for crosses on all municipal buildings added and funded with tax payer money – any complaints and you will be nailed to the cross to which you object
- I wish for all Congressional recognition and funding for the UDAC to be restored
- I wish for the Pope to move his stuff from the Vatican to the US – we really need him here!
- I wish for the FCC to give back all the money it stole from Howard Stern
- I wish for no more CNN TVs in airport terminals
- I wish for no more gender-cleansing of biblical scripture
- I wish every child should serve in his or her church services, attendance of church should be mandatory up to 12th grade
- I wish for the New American Bible to be the National Book of the US (ok – and the King James version, too)
- I wish for the refs from the 1972 Olympics to put back the three seconds it gave the USSR in basketball - I also wish for no pro athletes in the Olympics, ever!
- The 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team needs its own memorial
- I wish for separate holidays for Washington and Lincoln restored and we need to add one for Ronald Reagan
- I wish all hate speech legislation and college rules governing speech eliminated
- I wish to have the ADA abolished
- I wish Sarbannes-Oxley to be eliminated
- I wish Peter Drucker would be taught instead of creationism and evolution in schools, eliminates the controversy and gives kids the foundations of surviving in the world of work
- I wish no one got a gvt job because they could not hack it in the real world – there is much better work to do than working for Uncle Sugar
- I wish for traffic accident reports besides SUVs on the local news…in fact, I wish for no traffic reports on TV – if you’re driving a car, how can you watch a traffic report!
- I wish for us to turn back the clock of history to 1957 and rip off the knob!
All my ‘wish fors’ above make me what kind of conservative? Absolutely out of my mind? Good! Ideology be damned - all conservatives, no matter what stripe, tilt, bent should unite in the fight for some of the things in my wish list since it is these principles (save some of the sillier ones) plus the multifarious ones I have omitted, that the left attacks us with 24/7/365. NeoCon/PaleoCon. Phooey! When you look at the left and what it stands for, does it matter? Nope!
I'm curious: Do you consider yourself a fiscal conservative? If so, by what definition?
Also, if boy/girl scout participation was mandatory, then I guess you'd also have to allow gays in the boy/girl scouts, or would it be mandatory for all but gays/lesbians?
By the way, this is a fun-to-read if totally insane otherwise list.
Your blog is appropriately titled!
Yes I’m a little over the top on some things but I’m a hard core conservative. I love mixing it up with liberals. Makes it more fun!
“I wish for mandatory Second Language education at every grade, and you can’t chose to study a language you already speak
I wish for us to get out of Haiti/Korea
I wish for us to get out of Germany (take that for your help in the GWOT)
I wish for no women in combat, ever” (although I would add no men either)
I feel that there is hope you may yet see the light. Also, your list is probably the most anti Christian rant I have ever seen, bravo and Merry Christmas.
Other than reinstituting his former rights, Poldark Maximus would wish for the liberal blogger community to develop a sense of humor, regain their ability to parody rather than eviscerate their political foes, and consider why we do this (blog) in the first place.
I am thinking that you were never in the military, is that correct ? If you were you must have forgotten that BURNING A FLAG IS THE ONLY PERMISSIBLE WAY of disposing of the flag of these UNITED STATES
There's a huge difference between retiring a flag and dragging a burning one down the street underneith an ANSWER protest sign. I retired dozens of flags while in the Boy Scouts and it was done with the utmost respect and honor for each one burned. Each flag was displayed 1 last time for spectators, its history recited, and taps was played as we saluted and placed it into the fire. Contrast that with the hippy protester method.
Merry Late Christmas. I hope some of these come true for you C R Mountjoy! Not all but some.
John from XRW.
PS: I've figured it out. You're officially an Extremist Moderate. That's it: 'The Extremist Moderate Blogger'
There are a couple of things on there... Shakespeare? Definitely a leftist sentiment. The portion about the EU and the Balkans? Not necessarily left, but not right either, and definitely not fitting into the interventionalist neocon ideology. Same with leaving Haiti, Korea, and Germany (c'mon, man, you want us to stay there! Hell, you want bases EVERYWHERE!!!). The New Orleans levees? Depends on whom you want to rebuild them... If it's the state gov, you're looking right. If it's the feds, you're looking left. Nuclear power plants? Surprisingly, more left than right. The majority of the left holds that they fall under 'clean energy'. The space program? Definitely a leftist ambition, but supported by many on the right as well. The mandatory second language? Damn left. I like that one too. Keeping video games away from children? Haaaaaard left, man. We're the ones doing most of the bitching about 'video game violence' and such. Every member of Congress having been in the military? Not left, but not neocon either. In fact, we usually get snide remarks from Republicans for making that suggestion (actually, that's on of Mike Moore's main points. Yep, it's left!). Spammers & such? Hey, that's business regulation (many of them come from legitimate businesses). You can figure that one out. Compulsory music, art, and phys ed? Again, hard left. Moving the Pope here? Iffy, but if you look at the stats, Catholics actually tend to vote Democrat. There's only a couple of positions the pontiff has agreed to in the current admin. Other than that, it's all pretty much to the right. You might pop over to my site and check out my post on Extreme Moderates (it's amusing). As far as your stated positions go (ignoring parody), you'd either have to take that or be a mostly-right leaning libertarian...
Anyway, hope your Christmas was outstanding and your new year is awesome as well. Later!
Visit the veteran at http://modvavet.blogspot.com
Potentially not a bad idea -- what possible turf does Warner share with Howard Dean? Turn a new leaf, Mod Vet, and power up with the True (Republican) Believers. Bring Warner with you. Poldark Maximus.
Mark Warner could fit the idealist Republican mold as a bastion of fiscal accountability. As a Democrat, he emphasizes the most sane and effective face of the party of the left, while still appealing to the honest sensibilities of the mainstream right. However, one must face the fact that the current section of the right wing in power doesn't so much comply with traditional Republican or conservative ideology. I'll refer you, for one point, to this:
It's a better explanation by far than my meager skills could forge without many hours of cramming and research. While Warner might work well as a Republican, to do so would equate him in the eyes of many with the current administration, which is to some degree born of broken liberalism. 'Tis sad, I think, as I'd be more than satisfied voting for him no matter which party he aligned himself with. As far as Howard Dean goes, he has let down his brethren to a nauseating degree. We thought we were getting a warrior; we thought we were choosing a master and commander of liberal thought, willing to challenge the hard right with steadfast resolve. Instead, we got a wimp. I would also like to clarify for you this: That I support the true right even as a Democrat, regardless of whether I agree with some of their ideology. This is what makes me a moderate. I cannot however, in good conscience, willingly support the travesty that composes the sect of the right that currently holds power... Also, I'm still by a significant degree more a liberal than a conservative on most issues. My greatest ambition is to create policies that fall in line with my slightly-left ideology but are also built to draw the support of both liberals and conservatives. To achieve true bipartisan policy is my goal, my passion, and my driving force.
Links to this post: