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Saturday, August 06, 2005

Seminole Up...Downsizing

I hate Florida State Univeristy. I hate its colors, its location, its fans, and most of all I hate its Football Team. Its football program is a thug filled, gangster, dirty playing, farm team for the NFL. Whew! That felt good to get that out! Still, FSU has every right to have an Indian as a mascot. And what a great mascot FSU has- Chief Osceola. The burning spear thrown to the ground at mid-field is really impressive. And that Tomahawk chop/chant thing can get into your head as many visiting teams have documented. Well, all you friends of the feathered can leave your war paint at home if FSU or several other colleges (18 in total) get into the post season in any sport except football. Why? The NCAA has just ruled that FSU and other schools with similar mascots will not be able to use 'hostile and abusive' Native American names and mascots in any post season competition, except football. It's difficult to type as how insidiously stupid this is.

This ruling means that if FSU and other schools get into any post season play, they will have to have new uniforms for each team, the band, player personnel and cheerleaders. The Executive Committee of the NCAA said that 'hostile and abusive nicknames are troubling to us and it can't continue.' Hum. Hostile to what and abusive to whom? The NCAA Execs? Because if you ask the leaders of the Seminole Nation, it has no problem with the great Chief Osceola being used in any way shape or form.

Several questions have to be asked. What are you going to do about the fans if they decide to wear war paint, offensive clothing and chant during the baseball regionals that FSU has hosted for over 20 years? Who is going to pay for all of this? Is the NCAA going to fine the offending school for student and fan celebrations? Next, if the NCAA is gong after Indians, what mascot is next? Ole Miss, probably! What about Notre Dame. You have a double whammy here - A Beer Drinking Irish Catholic with his fists poised to knock out his opponent. How about the service academies? How about schools that use animals? 120 miles from Tallahasse in Gainesville, FL where God's School uses an endangered species as its mascot. (Sorry, God now coaches in Columbia, SC) Bulldogs, Tigers, Eagles, Oh My! Here is a short list of possible mascot targets the NCAA might go after next:
- Bismarck State Mystics (New Age devil worshipers)
- CA Maritime Keelhaulers (Torture at sea - unbelievable)
- Centre Praying Colonels (Religion mixed with Ante Bellum Slave Owners)
- CO Mines Orediggers (Mother Earth rapers and capitalist exploiters)
- CO State-Pueblo Thunder Wolves (Offensive, but what a cool mascot)
- Cornell Big Red (Has to be on the NCAA list)
- Earlman Hustling Quakers (Barn Raising Puritan Prostitution)
- Henderson State Reddies (Red Men - has to be on the NCAA list)
- Gray's Harbor Chokers (Logging land rapers)
- Heidleberg Student Princes (Bosche Roylaty-offensive to all WW Vets)
- Hostos Caiman (More Endangered Species - alligators)
- Idaho Vandals (Vikings)
- Illini Swallows (This is just sick - it's just a bus line I think)
- Illinois Blueboys (Offensive to Southerners)
- Indiana Hoosiers (Land raping canal builders)
- Indiana Southeast Grenadiers (Grenade Throwers - outrageous)
- Iowa Western Reivers (Fanatical, lawless men in plaid skirts)
- Johsnon Bible Preachers (Bible thumping puritans - can't have that)
- Lemoyne Owen Magicians (Wickans, Prestadigitaters)
- LA Lafayette 'Rajun Cajuns' (Ethnic slur to Coon-Asses!)
- Mary Baldwin Squirrels (This is just funny!)
- Marshall Thundering Herd (More animal rights abusers)
- MA Dartmouth Corsairs (Pirates, pillagers, plunderers)
- U New Orleans Privateers (See above)
- NM Lobos (Another endangered species)
- NC Tarheels (Probably already on the NCAA list)
- NC School of the Arts Fighting Pickles (Pickleism - can you believe that?)
- OK Sooners (Land grabbing speculators and violators of Indian Rights)
- RI School of Design Nads (Go Nads! - sick)
- Rollins Tars (Hi, Sailor!)
- Oregon State (Nice Beaver!)
- St Bonaventure Bonnies ('Where did all these f'in Indians come from?' G.A. Custer)
- SC Gamecocks (No one licks our cocks! - that's an actual slogan!)
- San Diego Toreros (Ethnic slur and Animal Cruelty)
- Science and Arts of OK Drovers (More animal rights abusers)
- SD Tech Hardrockers (Land rapers)
- Spokane Sasquatch (Not a refernce to their cheerleaders, but this offends conspiracy nuts)
- Sweet Briar Vixens (Sexist, sexist, sexist)
- Tufts Jumbos (An obvious offense to People of Size!)
- Vassar Brewers (Drunks)
- Wabash Little Giants (There is so much wrong with this)
- Wake Forest Demon Deacons (Devil Worship/Clergy all in one)
- Washinton and Jefferson Presidents (White Slave Owners)
- Webster Groloks (A Buffalo Dog that eats its opponents)
- Yeshiva Maccabees (Jewish Patriots slaughtered Syrians in 175 BC)

High Schools are next!

Dang, now thats just plain funny.
Is your team on the list?
VA Tech Hokies always bothered me. But can anyone tell me what their other nickname is? It says it in big letters on their football stadium and really threw me off.
Virginia Tech Hokies (Blacksburg, VA) -- The actual term "Hokie" came from a cheer that was created back in 1896. It goes as follows: "Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi!/Tech, Tech, VPI/Sol-a-rex, Sol-a-rah/Poly-tech Vir-gin-ia/Ray, Rah VPI/Team! Team! Team!" At that time, the word "Hokie" had no meaning, but was the product of the cheer creator's imagination. Virginia Tech also uses a turkey as a school symbol, since the Tech teams had been dubbed "Gobblers" for the way the male athletes ate, or gobbled, their food at the training table.
Go 'Noles!
Is this Bobby's last year?
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