The Neo Con Blogger(TM)

Link to the Democracy Project





Shema Israel

I will never make New Years resolutions.  No self respecting Republican would.  Resolutions are the kind of self effacing drivel for the Chicken Soup for the Soul weenies.  My moral and spiritual compass does not need adjusting every 12 months because I gained a few pounds or someone thinks I need to be nicer to animals or whatever the latest trend is.  Resolutions are for people who don’t get off their fat butts and do something with their lives – they are for losers and Oprah/Dr Phil wombats.  I need only apologize to my God (regularly performed Sundays at 11:30 am – and I pray a bunch too), Wife/Children, Dr. and Accountant.  

Therefore, I resolve to do and change absolutely nothing in 2006.  Who needs resolutions when you’re a God-fearing, ultra-right-wing, hetero, gun-owning, self educated (MS, MBA), voting, ex-pro-military, anti-left, 6’0”- 210 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal Reagan Republican with a fantastic TCR (Top Credit Rating) and great big flppin wads of cash invested and diversified so I can send all my children to college (even though they will all go to UF or the Naval Academy on full-rides)?

Maslow be damned…I don’t need no stinking resolutions!

http://www.mistletoeandmeat.com/

Dear Santa,

Although I think you’re a Democrat since all you do is give stuff that someone made to other people for nothing, I still think you’re neat and look great on a Coke can, which is the only place you should be seen in public. So here goes my wish list for this year:

• I wish for the pay of every level of active duty military personnel to up'd by 100% (even that is not enough), retirement, health, educational benefits increased by 100% (includes Merchant Marines)


• I wish for any dependents of a combat vet killed in the line of duty to receive a full ride scholarship to the college of his or her choice


• I wish for the DOD budget increased by 100%


• I wish for no more humanitarian aid to any country that does not send support for the GWOT – thanks for the Katrina stuff, but too little too late, amigos!


• I wish for partial birth abortion ban in the Constitution


• I wish for a Marriage amendment to the Constitution


• I wish for the borders to be closed to everyone - no immigration for ten years, and I wish to kick out anyone pre/post 9/11 who is here on a student/teacher work visa


• I wish for any Non-US Citizen professors to not be able to teach in a US college


• I wish for Castro to go to that Big Banana Plantation in the sky (I know it’s Christmas, but does he really deserve to live?)


• I wish for the EU to take care of the Balkans and its own messes, not the UN/US


• I wish for us to get out of Haiti/Korea


• I wish for us to get out of Germany (take that for your help in the GWOT)


• I wish for Walt Disney’s home in KS to be made into a National Landmark


• I wish for ANWR to open so we can drill, FL too


• I wish for the endangered species list eliminated – Snail Darters taste great blackened!


• I wish for the levees in New Orleans be built for a Cat 6 storm


• I wish for every Ms America from 2006 forward to come from below the Mason Dixon (most come from the South anyway, so why even have a contest…when is the last time Ms Delaware won anything?)


• I wish for a nuclear power plant within a 500 mile drive of every citizen in the US


• I wish for the line item veto in the Constitution


• I wish for all state and fed prisoners in LA and MS to help rebuild LA and MS!


• I wish for our armed services to continue to recruit in HS and Colleges


• I wish for no more Humvees In-Country in Iraq/Afghanistan – only self propelled 155s – lower the barrel and cover your ears!


• I wish for our Police to be as armed as the criminals they encounter – shoot first, Miranda second!


• I wish for continued and increased support for Israel and everything it does


• I wish for the SR-71 to fly again – I don’t give a damn how much it costs!


• I wish to continue the Space Program and fund it to its logical conclusions


• I wish for the privatization of AMTRACK and the US POST OFFICE


• I wish there was no gay rights and gay marriage legislation of any kind


• I wish for all tax money pulled from NPR, PBS, and the National Endowment for the Arts


• I wish for no more Broadway shows where there are no spoken words


• I wish no Hollywood personality will testify in front of Congress


• I wish for steroids in baseball – it’s so boring without them!


• I wish for no more money going to PLO humanitarian aid


• I wish for funding for the UN to stop and let’s and kick it out of the US


• I wish for every parking spot at every mall to be able to fit a Humvee


• I wish that once someone famous dies, no new merchandise can be sold


• I wish for the NEA/AFT abolished


• I wish for mandatory Second Language education at every grade, and you can’t chose to study a language you already speak


• I wish for teacher pay increased and every teacher given literacy and skills tests every year…the higher you score - the more money you get – the more children who score well on nationalized tests – the more money you get


• I wish for a Constitutional Amendment for School Vouchers


• I wish for no foreign students admitted into any US Medical School


• I wish for tenure for college professors abolished and I wish for every college professor to take a loyalty oath before he/she can teach


• I wish for the US Border with Mexico sealed/mined – Canada, you’re next!


• I wish for the collection Lend-Lease bills from WWII


• I wish for Japan to apologize again – we better put that in now since its taken 60 years for it to say it’s kinda sorry for the atrocities it committed in WWII


• I wish for all KGB files opened up and everything that the Cheka, GRU, GPU, etc. did from 1917 to present open for all to see


• I wish for an amendment to the Constitution that forbids the Flag to be burned – one year imprisonment 1st offense, 2nd offense – body is donated to science


• I wish for the repeal of Title IX and I wish for college cheerleading scholarships to be abolished (but I do love it when they cry!)


• I wish for International Waters demarcation around the US extended 500 miles


• I wish to never see a coach or a player on a microphone within 48 hours of the termination of any sports event (pro/college)


• I wish for no more scholarships for college sports


• I wish for Seamus Malin to never commentate another soccer game in the US!


• I wish for no more sales of any hand held or console video games to children


• I wish for children to have a mandatory two hours of outside the house activities every day after school, weather permitting! If the weather is bad, read a book!


• I wish for no sports events or television on Christmas or any national holiday


• I wish for Christmas back in public schools and the 10 Commandments on every classroom wall – if it’s good enough for the 10c’s to be on the walls of Congress, why not schools?


• I wish the Boy Scouts can choose to not let certain 'types' of people as Scout Masters


• I wish for compulsory business education starting in 1st grade: economics, money management, finance, personnel management principles, project management


• I wish state Three Strikes/you're out legislation to be two strikes too many


• I wish for every member of Congress to have served in the military


• I wish to repeal all campaign finance laws–if your party can’t raise money – boo hoo!


• I wish for all the service academies to have ‘first rights’ on all HS grads with a 3.0 or above


• I wish for a Federal Law that forbids spammers, virus and pop-up spreaders: keel-hauling is the preferred method of punishment – should be televised!


• I wish to open all ship building ports in the US – no more foreign built US Ships


• I wish for literacy tests for voting


• I wish for no bi-lingual education (although I speak, read and write Spanish - it was not taught as an alternative to English)


• I wish to repeal of all state Motor/Voter legislation – no driver’s licenses to non-US persons


• I wish for term limits on all local, state, fed elected officials (If you have not authored a bill in the US House or Senate in your first term, you cannot be reelected)


• I wish for compulsory military service at the age of 18 with a six year enlistment – and guaranteed college for all who complete his/her enlistment with honor


• I wish for no women in combat, ever


• I wish for a cap on minimum wage laws


• I wish for ‘Happy Holidays’ to be abolished from the public lexicon - anyone who says 'Happy Holidays' should be jailed and his/her company fined 50K for every infraction, property confiscation and wage garnishment


• I wish to repeal the Eminent Domain SC ruling for condos and strip malls


• I wish to eliminate all Capital Gains Taxes, Death Tax, Marriage Penalties


• I wish for a 12% flat tax on every American earning 30K and above


• I wish for every person in the US to drive SUVs


• I wish for no speed limits on any interstate in WY/ID/NE/IA/MT/AZ/NM/UT


• I wish for a five year ban on any reference to the Kennedy Presidency and family on television - this includes the word 'Camelot'


• I wish that the only Beatle to ever be on the cover of a rock magazine or tv is Paul McCartney – the other three who sang back-up don’t count!


• I wish for a National Holiday for Dale Earnhardt and Clarence Thomas


• I wish for CNN to pay for its fraternity-free-speech ‘Big X’ prank with the removal of its FCC license (not an issues since no one watches the Clinton News Network)


• I wish for every State Dept employee who has been in a post over five years fired


• I wish for the HBO Movie ‘Conspiracy’ shown in every 10/11/12 grade class until these kids get it that there is hate in the world, even if you don’t see nasty pictures of it


• I wish for compulsory Shakespeare taught in every grade


• I wish for Home Room and Study Period to be abolished


• I wish for compulsory music, art and physical education in every grade – cut them and all your gvt goodies go bye bye


• I wish for no college football team west of the Mississippi in the top 20, ever! (except the Longhorns)


• I wish for Steve Spurrier to be the next Gov of FL


• I wish for LA Nat Guard Gen Honree to be the next Gov of LA with a lifetime appointment


• I wish for every child in the 4th grade to read, memorize and recite the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. FDR’s speech to Congress Dec 8, 1941, Edmund Burke, Locke, Chambers, CS Lewis (not the Narnia stuff), Friedman, Hamilton, Smith, and every State of the Union speech Ronald Reagan gave needs to be memorized and incorporated into national tests


• I wish for Steve Maruichi to be the next coach, GM and owner of the Saints


• I wish for the budget for the CIA and FBI quadrupled


• I wish for all unions abolished


• I wish for children up to the 3rd Grade to sit in rows and memorize facts about math, science and history


• I wish for every K-12 class to adopt an active duty unit overseas and send quarterly letters and pictures and words of praise and thanks


• I wish for the pay of all Police, Medic and Fireman doubled and funded by any class action lawsuit wins. In fact, I wish for all class action lawsuits abolished


• I wish for the ABA abolished


• I wish for no advertising for Christmas to occur before Thanksgiving


• I wish for no commercial jingle on tv to be a rap


• I wish to never hear the following songs again as long as I live:


• ‘Disco Duck’, ‘Sugar Pie Hunny-Bunch’, ‘Paradise By The Dashboard Light’, Anything Clapton did – The Boss, too!, Anything Madonna did, ‘Macarena’, ‘My Girl’, ‘Unchained Melody’, ‘Strokin’, ‘Purple Haze’, Anything Janice Joplin did!


• I wish for a Missing and Exploited Children’s Network hosted by John Walsh – 1 million dollar bounty on any and all child molesters at large


• I wish for the Patriot Act to be extended forever – it does not go far enough as is


• I wish for the good people of AZ to find Sen. John McCain another job


• I wish for Kukla, Fran, and Ollie to be back on the air


• I wish for Rudy G to announce his Pres candidacy with Condi Rice as his 2nd


• I wish for ‘B-1’ Bob Dornan and Fred Thompson to be the next USSC nominees when Ginsberg and Souter suddenly ‘retire’


• I wish for the Dept of Agriculture to be eliminated and its budget given to the Dept of Education


• I wish for every Democrat, protester, college proff who criticized the President for the way he is handling the GWOT to pick up a rifle and man a post


• I wish that if you were not born in the 60s, you can’t wear tye-dye and peace symbols – if you were born in the 60s, guess what, Hippie? It’s 2005!


• I wish for a Constitutional Amendment to make ‘In God We Trust’ the national motto – and I wish for it etched into Mt. Rushmore after Ronald Reagan’s face is added


• I wish JC Watts to be the next speaker of the US House


• I wish the GAO would be eliminated


• I wish John Kerry would just get it over with and move to France


• I wish for compulsory Boy Scout/Girl Scout participation all the way through HS


• I wish for Jimmy Cater and Bill Clinton to apologize publicly for criticizing the US outside the US, then tried for treason


• I wish for the Nobel Committee and future Peace Prizes eliminated


• I wish for the FBI files on MLK opened


• I wish that anyone who wears a Che Guevara shirt imprisoned and his personal property confiscated, just like Che would have done if he was alive and you were in Cuba – you need to be taught how glorious communism is, useful idiots!


• I wish for all Olympic sports after 1980 abolished


• I wish for any town/city that puts up a ‘live manger’ scene for Christmas to be staffed with imprisoned ACLU lawyers ‘nailed’ to their positions


• I wish for the 2nd Line to the National Dance of the US


• I wish for crosses on all municipal buildings added and funded with tax payer money – any complaints and you will be nailed to the cross to which you object


• I wish for all Congressional recognition and funding for the UDAC to be restored


• I wish for the Pope to move his stuff from the Vatican to the US – we really need him here!


• I wish for the FCC to give back all the money it stole from Howard Stern


• I wish for no more CNN TVs in airport terminals


• I wish for no more gender-cleansing of biblical scripture


• I wish every child should serve in his or her church services, attendance of church should be mandatory up to 12th grade


• I wish for the New American Bible to be the National Book of the US (ok – and the King James version, too)


• I wish for the refs from the 1972 Olympics to put back the three seconds it gave the USSR in basketball - I also wish for no pro athletes in the Olympics, ever!


• The 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team needs its own memorial


• I wish for separate holidays for Washington and Lincoln restored and we need to add one for Ronald Reagan


• I wish all hate speech legislation and college rules governing speech eliminated


• I wish to have the ADA abolished


• I wish Sarbannes-Oxley to be eliminated


• I wish Peter Drucker would be taught instead of creationism and evolution in schools, eliminates the controversy and gives kids the foundations of surviving in the world of work


• I wish no one got a gvt job because they could not hack it in the real world – there is much better work to do than working for Uncle Sugar


• I wish for traffic accident reports besides SUVs on the local news…in fact, I wish for no traffic reports on TV – if you’re driving a car, how can you watch a traffic report!


• I wish for us to turn back the clock of history to 1957 and rip off the knob!

Your Pal, CR.

Merry Christmas
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All my ‘wish fors’ above make me what kind of conservative? Absolutely out of my mind? Good! Ideology be damned - all conservatives, no matter what stripe, tilt, bent should unite in the fight for some of the things in my wish list since it is these principles (save some of the sillier ones) plus the multifarious ones I have omitted, that the left attacks us with 24/7/365. NeoCon/PaleoCon. Phooey! When you look at the left and what it stands for, does it matter? Nope!

http://stoptheaclu.com/archives/2005/12/16/weekend-open-trackbacks-2/trackback/

This is the latest from the Evans and Novak Political Report:

Barrett Report: Democrats have their own scandal brewing at the moment, but they are doing much better in covering it up than their Republican counterparts. At issue is the report by David Barrett, the last remaining U.S. independent counsel. Over ten years, Barrett has spent $21 million on the investigation of former Housing Secretary Henry Cisneros, who lied to FBI investigators about hush money paid to an ex-mistress.

The reason the report and the investigation have taken so long is that allies to Cisneros and the legal team of former President Bill Clinton at the powerhouse Washington law firm of Williams and Connolly have fought its progress in court at every step. Meanwhile, Clinton-sympathetic judges have sealed everything concerned with the case, including Barrett's report.

The report contains shocking allegations of high-level corruption in the Internal Revenue Service and Justice Department under Clinton, which Barrett found as Clinton aides monitored his investigation and sought to derail it in order to cover up the Cisneros matter. A regional IRS official had formulated a new rule enabling him to transfer an investigation of Cisneros to Washington to be buried by the Justice Department. Barrett's investigators found Lee Radek, head of Justice's public integrity division, determined to protect President Bill Clinton.

A recently passed appropriations bill, intended to permit release of this report, was altered by Democrats behind closed doors to ensure that its politically combustible elements never see the light of day. Democrats succeeded in inserting instructions into the bill's conference report that are very broad and will allow judges to continue suppressing the report. Three of the toughest Democrats in Congress -- Sen. Carl Levin, Sen. Byron Dorgan and Rep. Henry Waxman -- have been behind the effort to suppress, and they have done it effectively. The final language authorized the judges "to protect the rights of any individual named" in the report. With two out of three judges on a three-judge panel inclined to the Democrats, that means hardly anything out of Barrett's allegations will remain in the report made public. The bill was passed by Congress Nov. 18 and signed into law Nov. 30.

The only hope for the public seeing the report lies with Senate Finance Chairman Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), who may still try to force its release. Grassley would love to see a thorough investigation of the tax agency. Otherwise, Republican Congressional sources expect Section B of the report, dealing with the allegations of IRS-Justice corruption, to be eliminated in its entirety. The rest of the report will be so heavily redacted to obey the new Congressional language that it will be of scant interest to either ordinary citizen or legislator.

Please release this report Sen Grassley. Since all we hear about is how corrupt Republicans are, it’s nice to see the legacy of the Clinton’s still evolving.

Thanks to PBS Watch for this picture. Get over to that site. It's a great watchdog on the media and how your tax dollars are spent in the name of broadcasting for the public.

And Michael Reagan is Right!

There is a link to 'Live in Iraq' on my site. If you have not visited it, please do. Like many mil sites, there is some truly amazing and inspiring posts. Click on this link and scroll down until you reach the title of this post to read this story of another great American. This is a wonderful story.

I have the great fortune to be on a long term project in our nation’s capital. I will be able to see the city and the federal area unlike ever before – getting to sites during extended holiday hours and arranging my schedule to avoid the flux of visitors during heavier travel seasons. Of all the benefits of being in DC, I can embark on sojourns to see sites not typically listed in ‘Duck Tours’ or the ‘Fromers Guides.’ Here is a list of must see conservative sites in DC I lifted from John Miller’s article Aug 8, 2005 NRO:

The Edmund Burke Statue
Alger Hiss’ Home – Georgetown
Joe McCarthy’s House
Se Robert Taft Carillion
Barry Goldwater’s Residence
The Reagan Shooting Site
Victims of Communism Memorial
Where Lincoln Prayed
Democrat Scandal Sites

I especially want to see the Victims of Communism Memorial. It is still not complete, but according to Miller, 'the current plan calls for a 10-foot-tall bronze statue based on the "Goddess of Liberty" figure erected by the martyred Chinese students of Tiananmen Square.’ How inspiring will that be to see this magnificent statue to the over 100 million men, women and children who died under the various forms of communism throughout the world? If you have the means, try a challenge grant to make this statue a reality. I can't wait to begin my tour.

Submitted by 101st LRRP friend: ***Please note you may critisize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the site owner (me) is not nice. We are still accepting submissions from any history researchers.

- Gallic Wars- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

- Norse invasions, 841-911.After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

- Hundred Years War- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- Seven year War 1756-1763Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

- American Revolution- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- Haiti, 1791-1804.French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

- India, 1673-1813.British were far more charming then French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

- French Revolution- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

- The Napoleonic Wars- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.

- Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

- Mexico, 1863-1864.France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

- The Franco-Prussian War- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- Panama jungles 1881-1890.No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

- World War I- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.

- War on Terrorism- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?""Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):
1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

Third Crusade.Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

Seventh Crusade.St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

[Eighth] Crusade.St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.

Didn't Patton say he'd rather have a German Division in front of him than a French Division behind him?

From Brit Skits at http://brit_skits.tripod.com/BritSkits.html
Feel free to distribute, but be sure to credit me and visit my site.
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And Now, From Nazareth, The Amazing...: From Rowan Atkinson: LIVE
[Setting: Inside a Church. Rowan is standing at a podium, in a priest's robe and scarf. A little organ fanfare plays as he walks to the podium]

And on the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee. And it came to pass that all the wine was drunk. And the mother of Jesus said unto the Lord, "They have no more wine". And Jesus saidunto the servants "Fill six water pots with water." And they did so. And when the steward of the feast did taste of the water from the pots, it had become wine. And they knew not whence it had come. But the servants did. And they applauded loudly in the kitchen.

And they said unto the Lord, "How the Hell did you do that"?!?! And inquired of him, "Do you do Children's parties"? And the Lord said, "No".But the servants did press him, saying "Go on. Give us another one." And so he brought forth a carrot. And said "Behold this, for it is a carrot". And all about him knew that it was so. For it was Orange. With a Green Top. And he did place a large red cloth over the carrot and then removed it. And lo, he held in his hand...a white rabbit. And all were amazed and said "This guy is really good! He should turn professional!"

And they brought Him, on a stretcher, a man who was sick of the palsy. And they cried unto him, "Maestro, this man is sick of the palsy". And the Lord said "If I had to spend my whole life on a stretcher, I'D be pretty sick of the palsy too!" And they were filled joy and cried out, "Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer".

And there came unto him a woman called Mary, who had seen the Lord and believed. And Jesus said unto her "Put on a tuton and lie down in thisbox". And took he forth a sword, and cleft her in twain. And there wasmuch wailing and gnashing of teeth. But Jesus said, "Oh ye of little faith". And he threw open the box, and lo, Mary was whole. And the crowd went absolutely Bananas. And Jesus and Mary took a big bow. And he said unto her "From now on, you shall be known as Trixie. For that is a good name for an assistant".

And the people said unto him "We have never seen anything like this. You shouldn't be wasting your time in a one-camel town like Cana. You should be playing the big arenas in Jerusalem." And Jesus did harkenunto their words. And he did go unto Jerusalem. And he did his full act.Before the scribes and the Pharisees and the Romans. But alas, it did not please them in their hearts. In fact, they absolutely crucified him.

Here ends the lesson.

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE
This is graphic, and I think you should each watch it and tell your friends. Click on the websites, either one (they are the same)
Subject: FW: from the horse's mouth

This is a discussion of the attitudes of Arabs towards the Western idea of peace and tranquility and civilization. Written by an Arab, not some think-tanker who thinks he/she might know what's going on. This is what we face; this is how we are viewed.
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WHAT THE ARAB WORLD THINKS By Brigitte Gabriel
Torture is accepted and even expected in the Arab world. Yes, I know what you're thinking-that's not politically correct in most mainstream media. And you know some nice Arabs who have immigrated to America. But it's the truth in the Arab world. Might makes right. Real men don't eat quiche. They prove their manhood by the way they treat their enemy. After all it's what Muhammad did to the nonbelievers - Christians, Jews and Zoroastrians in the Quoran - the 'holy book' allegedly mishandled in Guantanamo prison.

Arab Muslim men gain honor by shaming, belittling, abusing and torturing their enemy in the most horrific ways. Just look at how the Palestinians treat so-called collaborators by disemboweling them and hanging them upside down in Manger Square in Bethlehem. Look at the terrorist torture chambers that the coalition forces recently uncovered in Iraq.
When people refer to the prisons of Saddam Hussein and his regime they think he is the extreme exception. Not! The t! ruth is his torture tactics are quite the norm in the Arab world. If you want to see torture that is beyond what any Westerner can ever imagine please go to ( http://www.masada2000.org/impalement.asx
<http://www.masada2000.org/impalement.asx> )

Yes, you read it right, impalement. You'll get a glimpse of what the Arabs do to their own people.
As someone who came from the Arab world and knows how they think, it frustrates me to see self-appointed righteous minded politicians and media pundits oblivious to Arabic culture and thinking, criticizing America's actions at Guantanamo. These are a bunch of al Qaeda jihadists who were captured while bent on killing us - the kaffirs or 'unbelievers. They lau gh watching our government bend over backwards, forwards and sideways trying to appease the critics. The more we stumble over ourselves questioning our goals and tactics, the more they think we are weak and easy to defeat.

They smirk because they believe that Americans have demonstrated how stupid and weak they are by caving in to stories about maltreatment of Guantanamo detainees. They are watching our critics in this country and counting on them to embolden the radical Islamic cause and weaken our resolve.

Actually Gitmo is a joke as far as the Arabs are concerned. Prison? You call that a prison? Let me tell you what some of the prisoners call Guantanamo, "Al muntazah al-dini lilmujaheden al Muslimin," The Religious Resort for Islamic Militants. They are given three halal meals a day in accordance to their religious dictates. How man! y kosher prisons are there in the Arabic world? None. Jews captured in the Arab world are butchered like those obscene pictures taken in Ramallah during the frenzied slaughter of two Israeli reservists who got lost. Remember the Palestinian man holding his red, Jewish blood dripping hands, high above his head in victory? Remember Nick Berg's head being held high also?

Most of these detainees never had three meals a day in their entire life. They are gaining weight, and are living in what they refer to in Arabic as "Al-Jannah," paradise. They have radio, television, soccer games, air-conditioning, clean clothes, servants, meaning American GIs, who wait on them hand and foot. They have Islamic chaplains and handed Qu'rans, the social hate guide against Infidels, by people so concerned as not to offend that they wear latex gloves and carry the book with two hands.

Many Muslims in the Middle East would gladly give up their poverty, dictatorial governments, corrupt! leaders and social bondage to enjoy the relative luxuries Guantanamo offers. They have free medical care, better than millions of uninsured Americans and our military men and women serving on the jihadists' battlefield. Some of them who couldn't afford to see an optometrist now have glasses and can see and read their Qu'ran. Others who never had the opportunity to see a dentist now have a free dental plan. It has become such a joke; we even stop interrogations to let them take prayer breaks demanded by their religion.

As an Arab, I can tell you that Illinois Democratic Senator Richard Durbin is aiding and abetting the goals and strategy of Islamic jihadists who have declared war on the United States. Where was Durbin's comparison to the Nazis when we found the torture chambers in Iraq? Where was Durbin's comparison to Soviet gulags when we found the hundreds of thousands of bodies in Saddam's mass graves?

Where was Durbin's head when he compared prisoners captured on the field of battle to the internment of Japanese American civilians during WWII? OK, apologize to unarmed citizens, not fighters with weapons in their hands.

Where was Durbin when he compared Gitmo and Abu Ghraib to the industry of death that murdered 6 million Jewish men, women and children during WWII? If anything his heart and mind were in the jihadists terrorists' camp. If you see what story is being downloaded and shared by viewers of the al Jazeera web site you will find the story on Durbin's comments the winner.

If I were an Islamic terrorist I would be thanking Durbin and forwarding his views to all my fellow fanatics. His reckless comments fuel the fanatic frenzied jihadists, motivating them to blow themselves up in the midst of innocent civilians, savagely cut the heads of helpless hostage! s and devote themselves to killing the infidel who could be your neigh bor stationed in Iraq. Just like the Quran says they should.

Dick Durbin is an unwitting champion of Islamic radical fundamentalists. His comments should be known from this day forward as a "Durbinization" of the facts. To demonize something grossly out of proportion to what the enemy is doing is to Durbinize.

Gitmo and Abu Ghraib have been Durbinized and the Arab world loves it. They laugh at Durbin because he's supporting their belief in the destruction of our country and civilization. The shame is Durbin doesn't have a clue as to what he's done. As far as he's concerned, he did the right thing for the Islamic radical detainees living high on the proverbial hog in Gitmo. What he really did was made them laugh.

Laugh at us for being fools and not real men. Now it's time to see if the voters in Illinois and his fellow members of Congress are men and women enough to tell the Moslem world Durbin isn't our real man.
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Brigitte Gabriel is the former news anchor of World News for Middle East television, and now a Contributing Editor of FamilySecurityMatters.com and the founder of AmericanCongressforTruth

I can't wait for this. I love Howard Stern. Sure he's not a friend of the right many times, but this guy is funny. Because of work I will have to watch the 11 PM broadcast of The Factor. It should be fun! Tune in if you can. Analysis to follow!